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a small gesture

Lately when I have been in stores where my name is registered in their computer system, I have been asking them to change it from the one I use in this blog to my given name at birth.

It is a small gesture but one which felt like I was adding a level of authenticity and bolstering my lack of concern over being discovered. We all get tired of hiding after a while and this is just more sign that I have become an integrated human being who has embraced all aspects of who I am.

Recent posts


Donald Trump recently gave an interview to Time magazine where he looked even more imbecilic and inarticulate than usual at one point even saying to the reporter “That's why I'm president and you’re not” as if the hapless interviewer had thrown his hat in the ring and lost.

He is borderline deranged and employs the logic and emotive tactics usually reserved for seven year olds. Talking about how his instincts are usually right he continues to insist that Obama wire tapped Trump Tower with the psychotic zeal that only an unstable person would dare to employ. He brashly tells the reporter that he read it in an article which means it must be true.

Meanwhile the Russia story refuses to go away and little strands of information continue to trickle in and preventing its demise. The democratic lead in the congressional investigation now says there is more than circumstantial evidence in hand.

The Republicans were at the same time having the darndest time trying to sell a healthcare b…

comfort and confidence

This past Sunday I met my friend Leticia for lunch. I had not seen her for many months and I was glad to hear that her brain tumor seems to be responding well to radiotherapy.

We met about 4 years ago at a store and we began chatting and just hit it off. She is of Mexican heritage and we are close to being the same age. We exchanged numbers and we would then see each other from time to time for a coffee and catch up on life.

Leticia doesn’t know that I am transgender and I never got around to telling her because we were just casual social friends who would see each other sporadically. She was also someone who I could test my ability to be Joanna and see if I could be accepted as just another woman although this was never the original intent. It just happened that way.

So this time when she proposed we have Sunday lunch along with her two sisters it was another level up from our previous meetings. The fact that it all went very well with the conversation flowing nicely got me thinking …

for the benefit of others

Many of us learn to be actors early and then one day we wake up to realize that the role wasn't right for us but then we had already invested many years into fashioning this persona that would be acceptable to society. The challenge when you discover this truth is to then find the real you underneath.

I know this is what happened to me.

Those of us who grew up during the days where there were few options are particularly susceptible to having had this happen. I did what was asked of me and I didn’t think I could question things but somehow things were never quite right. But then the more you invested in this fa├žade, the more difficult it was to do an about face later when the fast train that is your life is already moving.

I think it was Shakespeare who said that "all the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players..." and I don’t think he was wrong. The only question that remains is to understand the proportion of the real versus the performance we put …


I wanted a fresh look to the blog to reflect my changing attitude.

Over the last year I have been in the process of refashioning my life and the loose edges are starting to finally come together. Time alone affords you the luxury of reflection and I have been doing much of that.

Things happen to us and then comes the post mortem where you draw lessons from the experience. You ask yourself what you might have done differently and where you might want to be going forward.

Many of my preconceptions have been dissolved away and I realize that over much of my life I had been doing myself a partial disservice. One day it dawns on you that is okay to be a little selfish and to not compromise on what you need; life is difficult enough so why make things worse.

The results of this process have been trickling in slowly like light filtering through a small crack in a closed window. How I want to live out the rest of my life provided I stay healthy is a question which will be answered in due cour…


During one of my lovely dinners with Rhonda Williams, I recall her telling me how she preferred to wear hoop earrings which really suit her.

I have rarely worn that style but then the other day I was at a Claire's store and Christine, who is the store manager and knows me quite well, thought that they looked good on just about everyone. So I followed her advice and bought an inexpensive pair which were on sale.

Well I am glad I did because I have tended to opt for white pearls but it was time to mix things and I also think they modernize my look a bit.

magical mystery tour

This same bus was seen running through the streets of Madrid with its blunter message that “boys have penises and girls have vaginas. Don’t be deceived”

This advertisement for intolerance, which belies intelligence on this subject is now in Manhattan parked in front of the UN building and says something slightly different in English:

“Its biology…Boys are boys and always will be and girls are girls and always will be. You can’t change sex. Respect all”

Never mind that message is written by people who understand nothing and most importantly are confusing gender identity with sexual organs and I won’t surprise you by telling you it has been funded by 3 right wing conservative groups one of whom is called the National Organization for Marriage.

Of the Spanish version, one Madrid councilman declared it the “bus of shame,” and city officials ordered it removed from the streets for violating a traffic law restricting advertising on private vehicles.

“We need a discussion about how to respec…