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five rules to a happy life

During a graduation ceremony at Tulane University Helen Mirren gave the keynote speech during which she gave her personal 5 rules to a happy life.

This video is an excerpt from her address but I guarantee you will appreciate what she has to say which can only come from someone who has lived a little...


Recent posts

winding down

This blog is slowly winding to a logical end because with it I have accomplished everything I needed to. It was a deep dive into my own psyche which necessitated an exploration of the literature that would help explain why I am this way.

With my self-acceptance has come a calmer version of myself and as I enter into my latter part of my life I can say I have done everything to try and unravel the mystery that is gender dysphoria.

Much of what is written on this subject is necessarily false because so much is contradictory and there can only be one truth. What I do know is that most of the people who are very vocal on it have an agenda and are trying to sway others. At my age this has zero impact on my life but deliberate deceit bothers me and I feel it should be corrected. Were the science on this subject matter solid we could all just sit back and say we had an answer but we really don’t.

I am not done just yet but I am certainly done writing on a daily basis and maybe this blog will…

a sense of humor

It's important to have a sense of humor about ourselves.

Being transgender for me was for the longest time a matter of great seriousness and concern and now I can look back on my history and laugh a little. Having that sense of whimsy can relax you and make you realize that there is a lot of potential to laugh at ourselves in a good way and we can enjoy the way we are all the more by removing obstacles through the gift of laughter.

If only I knew then what I know now but it is not too late at my age to reap the benefits of what I have learned about myself and about the world.

So the next time you feel really down about being trans try and look at the positive side and see the inherent humor that our situation has put us in over the years. I know I have had many and they form part of my formation as a human being who was born just a little different.

Grayson Perry meets Tschan

We all suffer until we figure things out.

Whether you are a self-identified transvestite like Grayson Perry or a beautiful transgender model like Tschan we all need to figure things out and come to a place of reconciliation with who we are.

The one thing you see in both these people is that they have come to that place of self understanding and as Tschan struts her stuff down the street her long slender body is poised and her head held high as if to say " this is who I am take it or lump it"...



observance

I can only explain my path away from religion and towards spirituality as a journey of rejecting pageantry in favor of a purer form of thought.

From a young age I was never able to accept doctrine at face value and I railed against what I perceived to be my father's insistence on regimented prayer and observance. That I still attend a Catholic service has more to do with tradition than absolute necessity and it may be rooted in the idea that it is the least I can do to retain a bridge to my religious instruction.

I now sit in a beautiful building and more often than not allow my brain to drift away from uninspired homilies by repetitious clergy who seem to treat us like children. Still that convention remains as a reminder that I need not entirely flush all ceremony despite it often grates against my desire for simpler and more streamlined thinking.

The church as hospital analogy is perhaps useful here as the priests who we thought should be held to a higher standard proved thems…

Canada passes Bill C-16

Well we have done it and with an overwhelming majority to boot. Canada has passed a law that protects the rights of transgender people and more specifically the rights of freedom of expression and identity.

It was only voted agsinst by a handful of conservatives (surprise, surprise) who thought they would be forced to use gender neutral pronouns which was more a ruse to vote against it as well as some feminists concerned this would facilitate men posing as women gaining access to their spaces (sound vaguely familiar?).

This is a historic day for my country and I am proud to call myself Canadian.

http://www.cbc.ca/beta/news/politics/transgender-rights-bill-senate-1.4163823



smug

I have trouble with smugness and arrogance.

It seems to work for some people and they will use it to advance their cause of establishing dominance or perceived status. I am dealing with one such person now on a project and I am finding it best to not let that get to me or at least be sure to make it not show. By doing that you give the smug person more power.

Learning to cope with people is that hardest thing about my business which involves a large amount of interaction and coordination. People’s egos and styles get in the way and their personal ways of communicating impact their core message. They may want to send a clear statement but their method affects its effectiveness.

Over the years I have had to adjust to these types of people but it doesn’t get any easier when you encounter one. The only thing you can control is your own attitude to them as nothing you will do will change them. Sometimes they want to get a certain reaction or are used to being listened to intently and hate…