Saturday, 22 February 2014

The natural me

If gender is mostly about the way we perceive ourselves, then crossdressing is our way of temporarily aligning that mental image with a physical one. This is why most of us feel so comfortable and peaceful while dressed.

The desire for a young boy to want to imitate a girl is not understood. All we know is that for most of us, these feelings predate puberty and that they last a lifetime.

Here is a famous quote by Harry Benjamin which illustrates that there can appear to be a blurred line between true transvestism and transsexualism:

“A sharp differentiation between a fetishistic and a latent transsexual inception of transvestism is not always possible. The fetishistic can gradually develop into the (basically) transsexual variety, as case histories have repeatedly shown me. The former, however, may well contain elements of the latter from the very beginning. Otherwise the initial morbid interest in one or several articles of female wardrobe would hardly have evolved into the desire for total dressing. The basic transsexualism may therefore explain an occasional and, seemingly, progressive nature of transvestism."

This is why it is so hard for many of us to understand ourselves; we don’t know what or who we are and that can take a very long time. I know it did for me.

But being placed in the middle of the gender continuum need not be so bad. Once you understand where you are and what your comfort level is, it does not matter what you call yourself. It becomes irrelevant at that point.

On another note, I am not one for taking pictures but I did take a selfie this morning. Yes I also bought a new wig which not only is closer to my own natural colour (or at least what it once was) but I think is a more flattering one for me.

What struck me about the photo when I looked at my expression is how calm and relaxed I am these days. I am very comfortable being who I am and what a relief that is.