Sunday, 23 November 2014

the last word

This will be my last blog post.

The mission of this blog was to act as personal therapy during a time when confusion reigned in my life regarding my gender issues. I didn't know where I stood or how to define myself within the spectrum which ranged from crossdresser to full blown transsexual. Turns out that this was not the right question but I needed to take the journey to find out.

There is much good information but just as much misinformation on this topic out there in cyberspace. If you fall for everything you read or take what is well meaning or occasionally even deliberately mean spirited advice to heart you are not doing your homework. Think, reflect, read but in the end do what is right for you.

I was trained as a scientist and needed to delve into the technical papers in addition to reading the personal testimonials of those who have struggled with this difference since early childhood. Yes that is all it is.....a difference.

Your brain is the most complex organ in your body and it can be talked into and out of things in order to be able to find peace. Make no mistake in that the transgendered condition is real and must be dealt with and, in my personal opinion, only a small minority should proceed to transition through surgical means. You will ultimately be the judge but accepting yourself as a graceful creature of God holds up a far more important message to the world

I am as lucid and happy as I have ever been after going through some very challenging times, I have come out on the other side far stronger than I ever imagined was possible and wish the very same for the rest of you. This blog will continue to exist so that others can hopefully be inspired through my experience. I came from such a dark place of guilt, shame and rejection of something I was born with that if I can do it then you can also.

I want to very strongly recommend that you find solace in the father of modern day transsexualism Harry Benjamin.Read him for yourself because others have twisted his words to cover their personal insecurities and agendas. The book was written by an endocronologist who not only dedicated his life to the treatment of gender dysphoria but who also possessed a high level of empathy and respect for his patients no matter where they resided on his scale.

I want to thank Jack Molay for his continuing support and dedication to dispelling falsehoods and encourage you to support his efforts. I will still poke my head into his interesting discussions over at Crossdreamers to be sure.

Lastly I want to encourage you to love yourself as the person you were created. There is no shame in being who you are and now that I can openly celebrate that difference for myself I feel as I have never felt before, Don't be afraid to be yourself.

I end this blog with the words of Harry Benjamin:

"Instead of treating the patient, might it not be wiser and more sensible to treat society educationally so that logic, understanding and compassion might prevail?"

Wiser words were never spoken.

Saturday, 22 November 2014

framing your own identity

I am enjoying seeing the diversity we have in our world. Our increasingly tolerant environment is bringing out the true colours of people who were once too afraid to poke their heads out for some air. As a result, we are more than ever able to showcase and celebrate our differences.

It happened with sexuality. We naively thought that people’s sexual practices were restricted to monogamous relations between men and women but clearly there was much more than met the eye. There was the part society was supposed to see but more underneath.

Recently here in Canada, Gian Gomeshi, a popular radio host and personality, was dismissed from the CBC for engaging in a type of bestial sex that was essentially physical assault. He defended himself by saying that it was consensual but many women began speaking up and the broadcaster could not condone his activity by having Mr. Gomeshi continue to work for them. Admittedly, this particular case features one of the less desirable aspects of diversity.

There are all types of sexual kinks, tastes and orientations out there that I won’t go into detail about but should we then be surprised that there is an equally astonishing diversity in the area of gender?

We now have people who openly self identify as gender variant, gender non-conforming, gender queer, androgynous,transgender, transsexual, cross dresser, etc and within those designations (whatever their value) live their lives quite uniquely. Even those terms only have the meaning and power that you give them and can shift within lifetimes. In the end you are a human being with emotions, intellect and a desire to express yourself that reflects who you are. I suggest that the best name for that is being yourself; it's that simple.

So yes we have discovered that the expression of gender is not as monolithic as we first thought and what of it? it should not come as a shock because if you look at nature’s model on other fronts it is chock full of anomalies, exceptions, mutations and variations. We, as an inherent part of that nature, are not immune to them either.

People of every possible inclination have always existed and made themselves known and heard only as much as was permitted by the mores of the culture they happened to be living in. We still see this today where depending on the family your were born into and openness of your society, your divergence from the accepted norm could either be welcomed, tolerated or openly rejected. Remember that surgery and hormone therapy didn't exist for those people and yet they somehow survived.

You have a chance to define and frame your identity on your own terms more than at any other period in our history and for that we should all be grateful. Now do yourself the honour and the dignity to be the only person deemed worthy to do so.