Sunday, 29 November 2015

oh joy....

If being transgender were such a gift, transgender women wouldn't be killed and people would be accepted by their own families. Most of us would have grown up expressing gender the way we felt comfortable. We also wouldn't have struggled so long to attain self acceptance.

The fact is that being an anomaly is rarely seen as a good thing in our society and because of that, I have learnt to live with how I am. It certainly didn't come without much grief.

Growing up different gives you perspective and that isn't a bad thing. Challenges can encourage growth and allow us to have empathy for others.

This difference of ours is less accepted than others because it is little understood. This has left the field open for speculation and ideas which aim to injure and assign blame to transgender people themselves.

But every transgender person knows that they had nothing to do with their own creation. They do however have a certain amount of control over what they do.

Today I am neither overjoyed nor upset about the way I am. I have come to accept it the way someone accepts being born with a setback which they then learn to appreciate as bringing some good. At first all is bleak but then a light is switched on inside.

As I write this I have a wonderful woman in my life and two great kids who are making their way to adulthood. I have health for now and that is all that matters. Money comes and goes but peace of mind is worth so much more.

So yes there can be joy while being transgender. It just needs to fit into your life rather than have it be your life.

Saturday, 28 November 2015

far from monolithic

Being transgender doesn’t mean we are all the same; far from it. In fact when you remove this as a common factor we are as different from each other as any other random individuals.

Over the years there have been transgender people in the public eye who I have either liked or disliked. This is of course not based on intimate personal knowledge but more based on an impression when the person is interviewed and when one reads their statements or books.

One such person for me has been Jennifer Boylan. I don’t seem to like her very much.

Based on a host of television appearances and some of her statements on the internet I find myself thinking she is self-centered and a little bit haughty.

I remember seeing her on Larry King in the mid 2000’s and feeling very bad for her wife. Here she had turned the tables on the life she had undertaken with this woman she had married only to later reveal that she was I fact a woman and had been one all along. I suppose I can understand that because my dysphoria is certainly strong and I had been tempted to think along the same lines at one point. The thing that stuck in my craw the most however was the almost unapologetic tone as she described her absolute need to her life authentically as a woman.

Jennifer’s wife clearly had a large adaptation to make and yet it was glossed over during the interview.

Of course it’s to be expected that we won’t all like each other. I could also add Caitlyn Jenner as someone who I view as vapid and do not consider to be the best role model for the transgender community. It takes all kinds of people to make a world however.

There are blogs out there that I don’t care for and I am certain that my blog displeases many. My aim is not to seek out a large audience but to make observations about this issue that made my life so complicated for so long. Many of you have blogs which sometimes align or diverge from my own; this is both in tone, emphasis and viewpoint. I am glad for it because it would be boring otherwise.

With the more public face of our community people who have never experienced dysphoria will see that, aside from this difference we share, we are far from being a monolithic group.


Thursday, 26 November 2015