Sunday, 31 January 2016

vision problems?

If ever there was a complete misnomer in the Blanchard, Bailey and Lawrence lexicon it’s the term “target location error”. It makes me think of a coke bottle glasses wearing duck hunter bagging a moose and thinking he got his prey.

Gynephilic gender dysphorics have absolutely no confusion about their target.

For example I find N beautiful and very appealing sexually and yet I cannot orgasm with her without putting myself mentally in the role of the female. This is my gender dysphoria at work.

I had to do the same thing when I was trying to help conceive my children with my ex-wife.

As I have stated here before, the brain’s desire for taking the identity of a female competes directly with the desire to make love with a woman. The best way I can describe this phenomenon is crossed wiring.

Target location error gives the impression you are too stupid to know what role you should take.

The funny thing is that that read the entire published catalogue from this group but you will not find a single explanation for what causes this term of theirs. I have been looking for an actual credible explanation all my life.

Now you see why I keep calling it pseudoscience.

As a sidenote I saw an excerpt from an Oprah Winfrey show where the topic was intersex people and of course there was Alice Dreger. What I found interesting was that towards the end of the show Oprah adressess Dreger and asks for a distinction between that and being transgender. Dreger correctly states that the main distinction is biological versus mental to which Oprah responds that we should respect all people no matter what their actual or perceived gender identity and Dreger responds "absolutely".

This is all good for touchy feely afternoon television of course but Dreger wouldn't dare address her support of Blanchard's ideas in such a venue where I bet you'd get more than a few furled brows.


Saturday, 30 January 2016

another pleasant encounter

The other day I was walking downtown when a rather tall and elegant woman probably in her early sixties stopped to suddenly ask:

"How tall are you Madam?"

I told her and then asked me if I was a genetic woman. I found the question abrupt but not rude so instead of responding I asked if it wasn't clear whether I was. She told me it was my Adam's Apple that tipped her off. But then she added that her brother had transitioned 25 years ago when he was 40. He had gone for the entire procedure including surgery under Dr. Brassard's predecessor. She has apparently been quite content since then.

She wasn't sure what my state of life was and the way the conversation went she gathered that I was living full time. I told her that I wasn't.

At one point I asked her if my presentation as a woman was successful to which she responded:

"Well you are a woman aren't you?"

She was lovely to speak to and we parted ways after what must have been about 15 minutes of interaction. She reminded me once again how pleasant some people can be and how much we can learn from others when are open and comfortable in our own skin.

By the way I do recommend you see the French film "Une Nouvelle Amie" which translates to The New Girlfriend for release in English. You will find it on Netflix.



Friday, 29 January 2016

I scratch my head and sigh

I rarely wade into politics in this blog but witnessing the Republican race for presidential candidate has me scratching my head. Donald Trump is a cartoon character and this man cannot possibly be taken seriously and yet he is by more than a few people.

I used to think that about Reagan, then about Dubya but it seems to be only getting worse.

Whether its standing on an aircraft carrier with a banner behind you stating "Mission Accomplished" or ranting about expelling foreigners these populist candidates employ the worst kind of lowest common denominator pandering to appeal to people who seem to thrive on fear and xenophobia.

I admit that things are not going great in the world but then they never are except that the candidates keep getting dumber and dumber. All we need now is a Trump and Palin combo running for the White House. Americans would be better off with Fred and Barney. It almost makes me miss the days of "Bedtime for Bonzo".

The fractured red versus blue state divide seems to be feeding this anomaly. It's uppity urbanite versus God fearing, gun tottin' rural voter. Only the divide is only being magnified it seems.

How else do you explain Trump.

Spewing populist propaganda helped Hitler too but only for a time








Thursday, 28 January 2016

towards a new glossary

The term transgender has been broadened to include people whose expression of gender does not match the expected binary norms. While I applaud this and think it’s a positive step forward what I really like is the loosening of the reins held by society that says "men do this and women do that".

Under the current umbrella term we are clumping together highly dysphoric people who absolutely must transition with people who occasionally like to crossdress and everything in between. Again, amazing inclusiveness which is good but perhaps we haven’t got the nomenclature quite right yet.

In the past we drew clear boundaries but since we see so much variation out there why not just stick to male and female for people who want to live as one or the other and stick to the script and maybe gender variant for everybody else?

For example, I have absolutely no problem with having male plumbing but I have gender dysphoria which requires me to express gender in a different way. Does that make me transgender? By today’s definition it does. But when I was growing up the latitude that exists today did not and people like me were just freaks; so were full blown transsexuals for that matter.

With barriers pertaining to expression disappearing I am predicting we will see a different glossary being developed over time.

But for the time being I have an idea: let's just use the term human behavior.



Wednesday, 27 January 2016

waiting

I am at the age where I think about my mortality. No I don't think in terms that it's all going to end tomorrow but I am aware of my father who passed away at 60 and my good friend from work who died last year at 58.

In life one never knows and I am trying to practice the philosophy of living one day at a time. I don't plan too far ahead and try to focus on the important things and the rest is left to the whims of this crazy world we inhabit.

I am saying this because you are never too old to be yourself and it is never too late to be your own person.

Since putting the contact form on my blog some of you have shared your thoughts with me and I can see the pain that some have gone through in dealing with your gender dysphoria.

But I am here to tell you that it gets so much better when you give yourself permission to truly live. For some of you it might only involve occassional crossdressing while for some it will be transition but to be on the other side of this dilemma is so worth it that you need to ask yourself why you still struggle and suffer.

All who read this blog know that I dont advocate leaving marriages and children behind to pursue something which may be wrong for you and for them. I only ask that you allow yourself the dignity of treating your dysphoria as a real and serious thing. You are not indulging in frivolity by taking concrete steps.

This was my hardest lesson.

Many of you are already very happy while others struggle with how to tell loved ones about something you have been carrying on your shoulders for a very long time.

The truly worthy and right people in your life will do their best to understand I promise. Don't wait and wait to do something.