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guilt is wasted energy

Answer me one question: do you think you are responsible for your transgender feelings?

If you are anything like me, I know you have spent countless hours reflecting on this and, if you answer it truly honestly, it is probably no. The fact that you are even reading this post is that you’ve known for a long time that you're trans.

So the next question that begs asking is: why would you feel guilt over something that is out of your control?

I used to suffer from guilt because I felt, for the longest time, entirely responsible for creating this reality of ours. Once liberated from these chains my mind has returned to a razor sharpness that is analogous to unblocking a clogged drain.

I have come to the full realisation that feeling guilt over being trans is like experiencing culpability over having brown eyes.

Liberating yourself allows for clear thinking which makes the next stage of reflection possible. No matter where you are on the spectrum you can then find a resting point and feel entirely at ease with who you are.

Don’t waste any more of your precious energy.


Comments

  1. Once we realize that we are not responsible for being trans (which is easier today with the internet versus growing up in the 70s), the guilt more likely comes from not being able to control the expression of our transness rather than simply being trans.

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    1. You are indeed not responsible and can then proceed accordingly to find the right balance of gender expression that works for you. This can of course proceed to transition if need be..

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  2. I've never felt guilt, but tremendous shame. Thankfully, as Leanna pointed out, we have so much more information and support at our fingertips now. That, combined with much study, reflection, and therapy, have helped me understand that I am transgender naturally... it's just part of who I am. I've been coming out recently to family and friends who have largely been accepting and supportive. And guess what? My shame is almost gone!

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    Replies
    1. You will find the level of acceptance much better than you might first think Emma. The worst part are those closest in children and spouses and there results run the gamut

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  3. True insight. Glad you reached this point. I think many (if not most) people who feel guilt initially are internalizing external intolerance of non-conformity and accompanying social opprobrium. We have to shed that for our mental health.

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    Replies
    1. If I had not shed that I would literally be in an insane asylum today Shybiker...

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