Skip to main content

my definition of passing

I used the word passing in the title to get your attention. Did it work?

The question is passing as what. As someone else? How about passing as yourself which is a lovely idea.

Are you authentic or inauthentic? If you are transgender I suggest the former I true. Which then begs the question who are you trying to pass as?

My confidence has soared ever since I have understood and ingested the fact that I am transgender. Hence when I go out I am dressing and not crossdressing (which is a term I have increasing disdain for). No matter what clothing you wear you are still you.

Yes I know, many of us don’t desire to be recognized because we have built lives that we think (rightly or wrongly) depend on us not being discovered. That is all well and good and, as out as I am, I still don’t advertise to everyone that I am trans. However if it gets out then so what of it. It is a key part of my identity and I am not ashamed of it.

Heck there are transitioned people who don't pass. There are even cisgendered people who regularly have their gender questioned. Are they any less authentic for it?

So you will likely stop thinking about passing when you finally arrive at a holistic and complete view of who you are.

Now you are really passing.


Comments

  1. Joanna, Some people might consider what I do as crossdressing but when I go out I am dressing in my clothes. I match the rest of my appearance to my clothing. So that means I will have earrings, necklaces, long hair and heals some of the time (when I have a skirt on) and at other times, I have none of the above. Whatever, it is me either way.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nice. The concept of passing assumes other people's opinions on your appearance matter. I refuse to grant others such power over my life. Whether they believe I'm attractive or not is irrelevant to me; whether they believe I'm masculine or feminine enough is unimportant. We have to release ourselves from their opinions.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes don't give power to other people to define you. Only you have that right...

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…

another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…